Tomorrow is going to be a hard day for me. I am going to the funeral of a childhood friend who is only 4 years older than myself. At 39 she has lost her long battle with breast cancer. I think I have only been to one funeral since my own mom passed away 5 years ago. I just can't bring myself to go. Funerals are always sad to me, and I always cry, and it doesn't matter if I even know the person. Ugh. I know, I am such a cry baby, but for some reason, it's just harder since my mom is gone.
I went to the viewing tonight and I was actually able to hold it together the entire time I was there. AS SOON as I swung the door open to leave, I LOST IT! Every time I looked at my friend laying there in that casket, all I could see what my mom. I couldn't bring myself to really even get close enough because I knew I would lose all control. The closer I got the faster flashes of my mom kept popping in my head. Literally. However, tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. I will take myself up there again and pay my final respects to someone who is not much older than myself. Someone that I grew up with. Someone that leaves behind 2 beautiful kids who even though their world is turned upside down, seem to be able to hold it together and have an amazing bond with each other.