A very good friend of mine asked me the other day, "How do you measure and put into words how much you miss someone, or how much you love someone?" and I have been pondering that question since. I guess there is really no right or wrong answer, so I don't know why I keep giving this question so much thought, but I do. While I am sure this post will be jumping all over the place, I am sure most of you will get the point, and many of you may start asking yourself these same kinds of questions. It is hard to explain emotions. It is like trying to explain colors to someone who has never seen before. IMPOSSIBLE. Oh, that's purple...a mixture of red and blue...umm, yeah, you just can't explain it because it is something that you just know, because you have seen it your whole life.
Here is what I do know:
When you tell someone "I miss you" or "I love you", it should not be out of habit. It should be because that is truly how you feel. When your first thoughts in the morning are about that one person, and you fall asleep every night thinking about that person, I think it is safe to say that you miss them. You may even love them. Love is crazy thing. They say that people don't fall out of love, that if you they say they have fallen out of love, then the love was never really thing. I call bullshit, but then again, that is my personal opinion. To me it is a fact, being that I have been there. I believe that you can love someone with every fiber in your being, and yet be in love with someone else. I also believe that so very often, in today's world, love becomes a habit. Marriage becomes a habit. Once it is a habit, it takes a lot to break that habit and either make it right again, or worse case, get a divorce.Divorce isn't an easy decision to make, but I say that if you have given it any thought at all, it's probably the best choice. Somewhere in your marriage you are not happy. I get that no marriage is perfect, and you are always going to have ups and downs, and things are not going to make you happy, so I am not saying just because one of you only wants to eat this kind of food, and the other one only wants to eat this kind of food and that makes you mad, or unhappy, that you should get divorced. There are key things that every marriage should have, and if one of them is lacking...it's probably not going to be your forever after.
Women need to hear that they are missed. They need to know that they are loved. They need to hear it, and be shown. You do not have buy them things to show them that they are loved. They need to feel needed, and most importantly, WANTED. There is a difference. There is a difference when they ask "what do you think about me?" vs "how do you feel about me?" We need passion and intimacy, and there is a difference, and it has very little to do with sex. Soft kisses are the most meaningful. No woman wants to just smash your face to hers when you are kissing her bye for the day.
Men need to feel superior. The need to feel like they are the number one provider, protector of all, but sadly, somewhere along the lines so many things get lost. Men think that once they got the prize, then there is no need to keep doing what it took to get the prize in the first place.
I have been told "I am good at the chase, but once that's over, then what's the point?" Well.......................the point is, you can not treat someone one way and then once you have them, stop doing that because in doing so, you take away everything that made that person fall in love with you in the first place and like I said, once that is gone, it is very hard to get back. Sure, you still love that person, but is it really enough to keep going and trying to make something be there that obviously just isn't? It should not be this way.
So, I know that maybe this went a little differently than how it went in my head, and maybe I should just keep my thoughts about some things to myself, but whatever. These are my thoughts and nobody gets to decide what I think, right?